


Who is in Charge Here, Anyhow?

by shadowkat67



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Buffy the Vampire Slayer References, Fanfiction, Gen, References to Shakespeare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:07:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22429075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowkat67/pseuds/shadowkat67
Summary: A conversation between Joss Whedon and Spike, it doesn't quite go as Whedon expected.Drabble.
Kudos: 10
Collections: International Fanworks Day 2020





	Who is in Charge Here, Anyhow?

Whedon: Spike, you will die by episode two. Your sire, Angel will stake you through the heart and take up with Drusilla.  
Spike: Hmmm. Right. Don't quite know about that. Sounds sort of boring to me. Besides...make more sense if you kept me around, Buffy's going to need someone to help her defeat Angel...  
Whedon: You're a soulless vampire, EVILLL, no way are you going to help Buffy save the world.  
Spike: Why the hell not? I'll have you know that I happen to like this world. Just because I'm evil, don't mean that I don't want the world to stick around a bit longer. Although not entirely sure I am evil...let's see, I love Dru, that's not evil. Loved my Mum.  
Whedon: You are EVIL!  
(Several episodes later)  
Whedon: Uhmmm...change of plan. Seems you are going to help Buffy save the world and leave town with Dru, while she fights Angel to the death and sends him to hell.  
But you won't come back. And you are still EVIL. You are only doing it because you are opportunistic and want to get revenge on Angel and get Dru back.  
Spike: Sounds inspired. But you know that slayer? She's sort of hot.  
Whedon:nah, nah, nah - you are NOT, I repeat NOT going to go after Buffy. You are evil. She's moving on, and the only vamp for her is Angel.  
Spike: yeah, well, whatever you say mate.  
(several episodes later)  
Whedon: You broke up with Dru and are coming back to Sunnydale to make life difficult for Buffy and Angel.  
Spike: I get to fight with the hot slayer and flirt with the hot witch, plus bash Xander's head in? Cool.  
Whedon: well...no. Okay. Yeah. But then you are gone.

(several episodes later)

Whedon: Spike, I'm bringing you back to Sunnydale, we're putting a chip in your head so you can't kill anyone, and you'll take Cordelia's role on the team and just tell them they are stupid.  
Spike: I thought you said I was an evil Vampire, mate. Not a bleeding college student. Can't bloody wander about in daylight now can I? Plus you're killing my cool factor. And seriously, putting me in Xander's shirt and turning us into roommates. So not going to happen.  
Whedon: It'll work. And you are still evil.  
Spike: Course will also put me in close proximity with that hot slayer...what's her name...Buffy?  
Whedon: Not on your life. Did that already.  
Spike: Make more sense to be Angel's replacement than Cordy's. Except cooler and less cliche. Also, why am I sticking around Sunnyhell anyway? Can't kill the bitch. Must be in love with her - makes sense totally hot.  
Whedon: No, we already did the romeo and juliet bit. Plus you are still EVIL.  
Spike: You keep saying that, who you trying to convince? Me or yourself? And..I didn't say she had to return it, did I? Besides, I said cooler...more like Beatrice and Benedict, or maybe that pair in Twelth Night...what were their names...  
Whedon: I'm thinking Hamlet.  
Spike: Yeah, right. Hamlet died. Too tragic. Plus don't you already have that whole Hamlet vibe going with Angel...  
Whedon: Or maybe Othello...haven't decided yet. And no, Angel's Macbeth.  
Spike: Bloody hell. I can totally see that. He'd make a great Hamlet though. Those two blokes could be cousins.  
Whedon: And you are dying, by the way. Tragically. Trust me. I'm killing you off! I don't do comedies, I write tragedies.  
Spike: Keep telling yourself that. Clearly makes you happy. But we both know you can't do it...kill me.  
Whedon: Just watch me. You'll die. Burning. In the hellmouth. It'll be classic!  
Spike: Yeah right, I should be so lucky. You'll only bring me back. Probably just to annoy Angel. We both know it.


End file.
